My special delivery to an Internet marketer

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To: Cleanse Pro X
Subject: Kudos on your Internet marketing strategy

Crappy business tactics, deserve a crappy responseI would like to personally thank you for having one of your spam bots hack into my Twitter account. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that this said spam bot sent a direct message to every one of my Twitter followers, touting your Cleanse Pro X all natural colon cleansing formula pills.

Sure, it completely soiled my credibility and trust with these followers. But what does that matter, right? Besides, your little ploy worked: You got a new customer for your colon cleansing weight loss product - ME!!!

That's right, I was so overjoyed by your stealth marketing tactic that I immediately ordered a bottle of your Cleanse Pro X. I’m not particularly interested in losing weight. But, I will be using your product.

You see, I am going to religiously take your revolutionary pill, and over the course of seven days, “cleanse my colon” into a large garbage bag. Once the bag is sufficiently full of my solid (and not so solid) waste, I will box it up and send it via first class mail to your marketing department.

To make it worth your while to open and sift through, I will be placing a check for $1,500 in the garbage bag, dropped somewhere within the mound of bile, feces and hardening anal secretions.

If you find and remove the dripping, slop-covered check from the bag, I promise I will honor the check, and you will be paid your $1,500.

You see! It pays to be an underhanded Internet marketer.

This boxed up garbage bag full of my colon’s darkest, stankiest contents will be arriving at your office in about two weeks.

Looking forward to showing you how well your product works,
John Farnswell

P.S. If I really can lose 25 pounds cleansing my colon, then it sounds like you’ve got 25 pounds of crap coming your way. Congratulations!