This body is ready for the beach

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To: Beachbody
Subject: So excited about my training results

So excited about my P90X body that I just had to show it offI recently purchased your wonderfully innovative P90X workout system, and I am totally excited about my results. That Tony guy really knows how to inspire me: He's zesty, he's fit and he's totally kick ass.

Attached you'll find a photo of me taken after two weeks of watching these videos. I was at the Cleveland Musclebound Meathead bodybuilding showcase and was so overcome with excitement that I hopped onstage, ripped off my clothes and began pumping and flexing my P90X-inspired body.

I think you'll agree that my body has gotten damn sexy from these videos. I can only imagine the results I'll see when I actually start doing the exercises and following the nutrition plan.

When you're working on your next P90X infomercial, feel free to count me in. I'll gladly do a testimonial for free. I've been practicing flexing each pectoral muscle and have even found a way to flex my nipples to make them appear to be winking. It's way cool.

Ok, I'm gonna go drink some Coke, eat a bag of Cheetos and watch one of your P90X videos right now.

Pumped up about your P90X,
John Farnswell

P.S. I really think you should incorporate some scrotal exercises in your next version of the P90X. It's an area that gets sadly overlooked in workout routines.