The Zenerx, Viagra and Gas-X fiasco

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To: Zenerx customer care
Subject: Concerns about my Zenerx medication

Thanks Zenerx, now my unit looks like the Toxic AvengerAfter receiving hundreds of insightful spam emails touting the benefits of penis enlargement, I decided to try your Zenerx “male enhancement” pills. To my surprise, your pills worked! I saw almost immediate growth, and that growth has continued.

In fact, I now feel that I may be too “enhanced”… This thing is huge (picture a cross between a baby elephant’s trunk and one of those fat, red whiffleball bats)!

However, since I now have this engorged, constantly growing life form down my pants, I was wondering if you have any pills that can kind of “pretty it up” a bit? I guess when I was smaller I never realized how ugly my particular unit is - we’re talking Toxic Avenger ugly here.

Honestly, my penis is so bizarre looking that I’m thinking something might be wrong down there. It probably has something to do with the Zenerx.

Mind you, I’m not blaming your awesome Zenerx pills alone. I admit that I don’t read labels or instructions before popping any of my eight different daily medications, and it is likely that the combination of two or more of these pills may have caused my current penile ugliness.

You see, besides Zenerx, I also take the following daily medication: Viagra, Gas-X, DDAVP (anti-bed wetting medicine), Prozac, Ritalin, Analgesic (hemorrhoid treatment), Atavin and Flintstone vitamins. Perhaps the Viagra and Gas-X combined with the Zenerx to creates monsterous deformations - seriously, my thing literally looks like Sloth from “the Goonies.”

I don’t know. I’m confused and scared. I guess I need two things:

1. Your best penis beautification pills and / or tips
2. A list of the known side effects of taking Zenerx, Viagra and Gas-X together

If you could get these to me ASAP, I would greatly appreciate it. I’m not sure how long I can stand to look at this thing.

Grossly enhanced,
John Farnswell

P.S. Dear God!!! As I was typing this email, my man part just belched. WTF????????