I am seceding from Mentor, Ohio

PrintE-mail

To:Mentor City Council:
Subject: Need information about zoning

My village sign will be much cooler than this oneI am looking for answers. I’m just so upset.

The other day, I’m walking in the Great Lakes Mall, and I see councilman Marn walking past me. So I kind of raise my right eye brow and nod at him to say “Hello there, councilman.” And he just looks and pleasantly smiles.

No “Hi?” No stop and chat? Just a smile? My own councilman!

After a long list of grievances I have had with the city of Mentor (most of which revolve around my inability to turn left out of the Arby’s on Mentor Avenue and city decency laws that prevent me from wearing my thong bathing suit at Mentor Headlands Beach), this behavior was the last straw!

I would like to formally break off from the city of Mentor. I’m thinking I can just make my .21 acre property my own village. It would be called Farnswellia, and I have already decided that it will have the zip code 44060.5.

What is the official paper work I need to fill out with the city of Mentor to make this a reality? I presume I have to talk to the state as well. Do you have contact information for this?

Also, I would like to know the process for annexation. Once my village becomes officially recognized, I would like to begin annexing large chunks of nearby Mentor land to add to my village. I’m specifically interested in acquiring the Chuck E. Cheese and pet store in the south portion of Erie Commons.

Sincerely,

John Farnswell

P.S. Please expedite this ASAP as we would like to have the first Farnswellia village festival on Halloween.